The land cannot support them both, the herdsmen quarrel and Avram gives Lot the choice.
The story
Lot, who went with Avram, also had flocks, herds and tents. The land could not support them both, because they owned so much. The Torah says it twice: they could not live together.
וְלֹא־נָשָׂא אֹתָם הָאָרֶץ לָשֶׁבֶת יַחְדָּו
Bereshit 13:6
A quarrel broke out between Avram’s herdsmen and Lot’s herdsmen. The Torah does not spell out what it was about. It adds that the Canaanites and the Perizzites were living in the land at that time.
Avram asked that there be no quarrel between him and Lot, or between their herdsmen, since they were brothers. He said the whole land lay open before Lot and asked him to part from him: if Lot went left, Avram would go right, and if right, Avram would go left.
Lot looked up and saw the whole plain of the Jordan, well watered everywhere, like the garden of God, like the land of Egypt. This was before God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot chose the whole plain of the Jordan for himself.
Lot set out, and the two parted. Avram lived in the land of Canaan, and Lot lived in the cities of the plain, pitching his tents as far as Sodom. And in the very verse that tells of the parting, the word “brother” comes back.
Avram said to Lot, “Please, let there be no quarrel between me and you, or between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are brothers.”
Words from the verse
רֹעַיmy herdsmen
אַחִיםhere: close kin
What it teaches: Pursuing peace
Seeking peace between people, and giving way so it can last.
When the herdsmen quarrelled, Avram spoke to Lot without blaming anyone. He reminded him that they were brothers and gave Lot the choice. The Torah teaches that pursuing peace can mean giving up the right to choose, and that sometimes peace is kept by parting without a quarrel.
A question to sit with
Is there someone you find it hard to share space with, and what would change if you let them choose first?
Questions about the story
Who was the quarrel between?
Between Avram and Lot themselves
Between the Canaanites and the Perizzites
Between Avram’s and Lot’s herdsmen
Answer
c. Between Avram’s and Lot’s herdsmen
The quarrel was between Avram’s herdsmen and Lot’s herdsmen. The Canaanites and the Perizzites are mentioned only as living in the land at the time.
What did Avram offer Lot?
To pick a side, leaving Avram the other
To split the flocks and herds equally
To stay together and send the herdsmen away
Answer
a. To pick a side, leaving Avram the other
Avram told Lot that the whole land lay open before him, and offered: if Lot went left, he himself would go right, and if right, left.
The lesson
When space is tight for two, whoever pursues peace lets the other choose first.
For this week
Try this week: when a small argument comes up over a seat, a turn or a plan, let the other person choose first.
From the sources
Rashi explains that when Avram offered Lot a choice of side, he meant: wherever you settle, “I will not go far from you,” and I will stand by you as shield and help. In this reading, the parting was not a cutting of ties. Rashi adds that in the end, when Lot was taken captive, he did need Avram.
The verses are from Miqra according to the Masorah (Wikisource, CC BY-SA 4.0), via Sefaria, without the cantillation marks. On this site the four-letter Name is written ה׳.
